diff --git a/.gitea/workflows/update-readme.yaml b/.gitea/workflows/update-readme.yaml
index c0b8470..23c9956 100644
--- a/.gitea/workflows/update-readme.yaml
+++ b/.gitea/workflows/update-readme.yaml
@@ -11,7 +11,7 @@ jobs:
     steps:
       - name: Manual Internal Checkout
         run: |
-          git clone http://gitea-http:3000/${{ github.repository }}.git .
+          git clone --filter=blob:none http://gitea-http:3000/${{ github.repository }}.git .
           git checkout ${{ github.ref_name }}
 
       - name: Sync with upstream
@@ -19,31 +19,37 @@ jobs:
           git fetch origin
           git rebase origin/${{ github.ref_name }}
 
-      - name: Update README
-        env:
-          LANG: en_US.UTF-8
-          LC_ALL: en_US.UTF-8
+      - name: Process Statistics and Update README
         run: |
+          if ! command -v jq &> /dev/null; then
+            if command -v apk &> /dev/null; then apk add --no-cache jq;
+            elif command -v apt-get &> /dev/null; then apt-get update && apt-get install -y jq; fi
+          fi
+
+          USER_URL="http://gitea-http:3000/api/v1/users/patrick/heatmap?limit=1000"
+
+          RAW_DATA=$(wget -qO- --header="Authorization: token ${{ secrets.PAT_TOKEN }}" "$USER_URL")
+          TOTAL_COMMITS=$(echo "$RAW_DATA" | jq '. | map(.contributions) | add')
+
+          echo "Global Commit Velocity: $TOTAL_COMMITS"
+          echo "COMMIT_VELOCITY=$TOTAL_COMMITS" >> $GITHUB_ENV
+
           LOC=$(grep '"total_code"' public/code-stats.json | sed 's/[^0-9]*//g')
           FORMATTED_LOC=$(printf "%'d" $LOC)
+          echo "FORMATTED_LOC=$FORMATTED_LOC" >> $GITHUB_ENV
 
-          echo "Injecting $FORMATTED_LOC into README.template..."
-
-          sed "s/REPLACE_ME_LOC/$FORMATTED_LOC/g" README.template > README.md
-
-          if [ ! -s README.md ]; then
-            echo "Error: README.md is empty!"
-            exit 1
-          fi
+          sed "s/REPLACE_ME_LOC/$FORMATTED_LOC/g" README.template | \
+          sed "s/REPLACE_ME_COMMITS/$TOTAL_COMMITS/g" > README.md
 
       - name: Commit and Push
         run: |
           git config user.name "Ares-Bot"
           git config user.email "ares@beane.me"
           git add README.md
+
           if git diff --staged --quiet; then
-            echo "No changes"
+            echo "No changes to commit"
           else
-            git commit -m "chore: sync code velocity to $FORMATTED_LOC LOC [skip ci]"
-            git push http://${{ secrets.GITHUB_TOKEN }}@gitea-http:3000/${{ github.repository }}.git ${{ github.ref_name }}
+            git commit -m "chore: sync code velocity to ${{ env.FORMATTED_LOC }} LOC [skip ci]"
+            git push http://patrick:${{ secrets.PAT_TOKEN }}@gitea-http:3000/${{ github.repository }}.git ${{ github.ref_name }}
           fi
diff --git a/README.md b/README.md
index 06d835e..9abd87f 100644
--- a/README.md
+++ b/README.md
@@ -73,6 +73,7 @@ Actively used across this environment or in adjacent projects:
 ## ⚡ Efficiency Metrics
 
 - **Codebase Growth:** `9856` lines of custom code across all our repositories
+- **Commit Velocity:** `245` commits since Jan 1
 - **Ares:** Ryzen 9 9950X sustaining ~0.06 load avg while running Gitea and a Kubernetes control plane
 - **Resilience:** Automated failover between AWS and peer nodes
 
diff --git a/README.template b/README.template
index c8fd450..39f6fbe 100644
--- a/README.template
+++ b/README.template
@@ -73,6 +73,7 @@ Actively used across this environment or in adjacent projects:
 ## ⚡ Efficiency Metrics
 
 - **Codebase Growth:** `REPLACE_ME_LOC` lines of custom code across all our repositories
+- **Commit Velocity:** `REPLACE_ME_COMMITS` commits since Jan 1
 - **Ares:** Ryzen 9 9950X sustaining ~0.06 load avg while running Gitea and a Kubernetes control plane
 - **Resilience:** Automated failover between AWS and peer nodes